Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
