with your own penis?
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
