My brain says no but my pants say off.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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