I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
