none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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