I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
