she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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