My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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