I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
The feeling are messing with the penis
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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