I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
party gras won. party gras always wins.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
