So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
