no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
