I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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