Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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