He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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