i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
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