Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
