this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
