Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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