she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
