Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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