i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Randomize
