Well apparently he's into motor boating.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
