a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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