4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i permit you to call me
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
This beer is not sobering me up at all
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
