You're completely useless in the revolution.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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