this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
