It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
