just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
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