you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
