She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
