he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
