I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
They have beer where we have blood.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
