a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm just crazy horny about you
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
