Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize