69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
