Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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