In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
