i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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