I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize