sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Randomize
