Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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