Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
