Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
