Where did you get a picture of my penis
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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