You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
