My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
