But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
