She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
