I hate your face
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
