im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
