Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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