i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Less talking, more tequila
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
