Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
only if we run a train.
done.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize