Me. At least after what I've been through.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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