hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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