i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
