I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
