she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
