Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
