Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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