i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
She told me I should be a condom model.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
