im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
