SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
