i can't believe i had my finger in that
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
