Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
