we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
