do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
