At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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