He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
