can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
