I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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