Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Randomize
