Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
