Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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