Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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