Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
