he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
