If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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