who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
