my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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